I’ve never been in a fight before, never witnessed one either. Tonight was my friend’s birthday party and some dumb bitch slapped my friend for calling her a bitch (but not even fully directing at her) and shit hit the fan. I wish I was more assertive. I wish I could have been the one to stop it all. I wish I could have punched that bitch out. And YES she is a bitch. I define a bitch as someone who puts her nose in where it doesn’t belong and starts mass amounts of shit that could easily be avoided.
Now, I’m home at 4:30 am and cannot fall asleep for the life of me; because I not only didn’t have my friends back, but I feel weak. Like even if I had thought about getting involved and fought back I wouldn’t be able to.
A night never goes the way you plan it. I had hoped a certain guy would be there, I had hoped we’d get to talking again and maybe something would develop. Instead I feel like a terrible friend, full of aggression and self doubt.
I wish I could fall asleep.